It’s 3am. My brain starts to race waking me to think about all the things that I perceive myself to be falling short in personally, professionally, and all the areas in-between. You’ve been there too? Here are my top 5 tips for quieting the middle of the night mind:
- Get up! I know it sounds counterproductive if you want to get back to sleep but it really helps. Use the restroom, wash your face, brush your teeth…whatever you do just before you get into bed in the evening. I like to take a big drink of water and then resituate my blankets and pillows. Since I am a wiggly person naturally, I could lay there and fiddle with blanket layers and pillow positions for hours. This ritual allows my body permission to relax into the comfortable cocoon I created.
- Focus on your breathing. One that I like to do is to take a breath in for four seconds, hold for four, let out for four, relax your body completely for four. Then do it again. And again! I imagine a square in my mind and see the lines form as I do each of the four steps. I call this “four square breathing” and have used it with student-athletes, college students, and my elementary kiddos to help them relax.
- So you have gone to the bathroom and are laying in bed breathing but your mind just won’t stop! This next three tips are to specifically silence the screaming. As each of the worries pop into your mind, imagine stuffing them into a balloon and blow it up and allow it to float out your window. If the worry is important, give it permission to float away for now but find its way back to you in the morning or when you get to work or whenever seems like a better time for you to address the worry. Here is a think-aloud you might try, “I feel (worried, overwhelmed, frustrated, excited, etc.) about (whatever the thing is) and I will place it in this balloon. As I take this next breath, I see the balloon floating out my bedroom window. Please float away so I can sleep but you can return tomorrow when (I am at my computer for work, I wake up, the issue arises).”
- Another tip is to use reframing. Right now, a lot of my middle of the night worries are that my cancer will return. Having cancer is full of psychological challenges that are really difficult to deal with and often you have little to no support as a cancer survivor while you navigate this part of the fight. Reframing has really helped me! Instead of absolutely freaking out that the cancer is back, I stop myself and remember that I am in remission. The last report from the doctor was that I am in remission. My think-aloud that I used last night went like this, “I am in remission. I am getting stronger. I have some soreness in my body because I am able to do more. I was able to take the stairs rather than the elevator while on campus. I can do things with more ease than I could three months ago. No, the cancer is not returning. I am healthy and capable.” My body is sore from all the moving I am able to do right now but those aches and pains send my mind to a place of fear. Then I put the worry of sore muscles in a balloon and let it float out the window so I can reassess during the next day. Let me tell you, I was able to get back to sleep and now, in the light of this new day, those pains were truly just achy muscles from all the wonderful moving I am able to do. I know that I have to be extra mindful of my body so we can address any cancer that returns as quickly as possible but worrying all night will be detrimental to my health.
- Give your body permission to rest and relax. When I was in college, we worked with a sports psychologist that taught us a relaxation technique that I still use! You address each body part and gently activate the muscles for 5-10 seconds and then release. I start at my toes, feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, stomach, biceps, forearms, hands, shoulders, back, neck, jaw/mouth, nose and eyes.
I hope these tips helped and you are able to get some wonderful sleep!
Let me know what other tips you have for quieting the middle of the night mind in the comments.
mindful art by mw 